Erasing a Stigma

It seems that the tragic passing of Robin Williams has brought light to an epidemic many of us have been fighting in the shadows.  Why has it taken the death of someone famous for making millions of us laugh, to bring public awareness to a disease that we have been plagued with for hundreds of years?  Current data suggests that 22 Veterans take their lives... a day.  22 people who survived military duty (combat or not), whose demons eventually won out.  That statistic is thought to be wrong amongst recent veterans returning from the OIF/OEF conflict.  Many of those take their lives as a result of PTSD.  The public at large seems to think this is a new phenomena, but there are several items to take into consideration.  During WWI and WWII, and early battles, Soldiers had several weeks to decompress from the tragedies of war.  Spending weeks together with fellow brothers who had seen the atrocities of war, being able to vent their fears and anger to one another without fear of being judged.  They had time to come to terms with what our nation asked of them during these times.  Then the came home to their families never to speak of it again.  Now, when our time at war is done, we get on a plane, fly home, have a week of "reintegration" and are asked to get back to our daily lives.  Now, there is a stigma that if you seek help or treatment you are weak.  It can undermine a career by imparting the notion that you are not fit for command or a leadership role because you are unstable.  When we are separated from service, and our employers find out that we have PTSD, all the can think is that we are going to snap and go on a shooting rampage because we are unstable.  

These are the stigmas that make talking about mental health illnesses difficult.  It is easier to deny anything is wrong than to admit we have demons we are battling.  Depression is only one symptom of PTSD.  There are many more.  Irritability, anger, lashing out, becoming withdrawn, insomnia, flashbacks, sadness, anxiety, and so many more.  Suicidal thoughts come with the territory.  Those of us strong enough to ask for help, are often shot down.  "So many people have it worse than you.  You shouldn't be depressed".  "Just be happier".  "Remember you have a family, don't be selfish".   A lot of people just don't know how to talk to or respond to someone when they say they are depressed and may be contemplating suicide.  For people who have never been that far in despair, they just don't understand.  And that's OK.  But dismissing the other persons' feelings is not the way to help.  Let them know that you are always around to listen, that you care.  Just knowing you have people in your corner can be the life jacket that person is looking for.

When I was sent back stateside from Iraq, I was not medevac'd.  I was sent via space-a.  I had to wait around Kuwait for 2 weeks for a seat to become available and for my unit to fix the paperwork they screwed up on.  When I got back to Atlanta, no one from my Rear-D unit was there to pick me up.  No homecoming welcome.  I had to take a cab from the airport to Fort Benning, a nearly 2 hour trip.  I checked into my hotel, and was told to report to work 6 hours later.  They initially tried to chapter me out on a bad conduct mischarge...which is funny because I didn't have a single negative counseling statement....that I knew of.  Come to find out, 3 had been written while I was in limbo, and where I was supposed to sign, my squad leader had written in "Soldier Unavailable to Sign.". More on this at a later date...thankfully I had a few docs that stood up for me, and pushed me through the med board process; I was eventually medically retired out of the Army 13 months after returning home.  I was treated like shit, because everyone in my unit thought I was faking it, trying to get out of deployment.  I had been there for 7 months, and wanted to make the Army a career.  I had no support.  No friends.  No family (locally).  I was at my wit's end.  Thankfully, I had my family's support.  I would call my mom bawling my eyes out, because I just couldn't take it anymore.  I wanted to give up.  So a week after returning home, my parents and 2 youngest sisters drove from VA to GA to come see me.  Give me much needed hugs and emotional support.  They stayed for a week.  Without them, who knows what would have happened.  My mom reminded me how strong I was.  I'm a Mayo, damn it.  And that means something.  I had my son who needed his mother.  And I had something to prove.  That no matter how much you may beat me down, degrade me, make me feel like nothing; I'm not going anywhere.  I know in my heart what the truth was/is, and I'll be damned if some ignorant, judgmental, self-serving, assholes were going to take that away from me.  I haven't written a lot about my time in service, or what happened to me while deployed and upon returning home.  But over the next few months, I think I'm going to let ya'll in.  I think it's important for people to know and recognize that this shit does happen.  And if it's happening to you, you're not alone.  There are actions you can take, and recourse for those who think they are above it all.  


Tonight, I just wanted to open the door.  Let people know that if you're struggling with PTSD, depression, or any other issue, there ARE people who care.  If you need someone to talk to, I AM HERE to listen to you.  All you have to do is reach out.  You are stronger than you think you are.

If you or someone you know is struggling, there are options.  Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is to ask for help.  You don't want to burden loved ones with your issues.  I'm here to tell you, it's not a burden.

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July 4 2014 - As I Remember It

The day started off quite nicely.  Made some deviled eggs while the hubby prepared the meat for the burgers and we awaited the arrival of a good friend of ours who would be joining us for a small little barbeque.  Dinner went according to plan.  The evening was peaceful...until 2130.  That's when our small little village of a town decided to light off their fireworks display from less than 1/4 mile from our house.  No warning, no little baby fireworks to get the show started...but the big loud BOOM ones.  That is the first time in a LONG time, I've actually jumped up from my chair where I was sitting outside and tried diving for cover.  My heartbeat easily doubled, my chest felt tight, and I remembered the last time in Iraq that my base had been
mortared...

A Woman in a Man's World - Part 1

I got a lot of feedback on yesterday's post about my time in Iraq.  After I re-read it, I felt like I rambled... but I'm glad it touched so many people!  One of the common comments left for me on my Facebook page, was that it gave non-military folks some insight on what it was like for a woman in the military.  I feel that I just barely scratched the surface on that topic... so I thought I'd write a few posts about it.  Some of the things I will be talking about are pretty touchy....so please bare with me.
(NOTE - I don't have many pictures from bootcamp/AIT... a lot of my military pictures come from my time in Iraq.  Just FYI)

Reflections

When I tell people that I was in the army, the first question is always, "Did you go to Iraq?  Afghanistan?".  When I inform them that I did deploy to Iraq for OIF VII, the question that always follows next is, "What was it like?".  People  may think that it is an easy question to answer, but quite the contrary, it is not.  What part of Iraq do you want to know about?  There are many.  Do you want to do what the social and family ties and the stresses it caused was like?  Do you want to know what war is like?  Or what about the countryside?  The people and the children?  Being a medic?  What part do you want to know about?  The part where I admit it broke me all to hell and I will never be the same again?    Which part?

Twas The Night Before Christmas...

I know it's been a while... please forgive me!  It's been a busy few months!!  I plan on streamlining my ceramic lines.  I hope that by doing this I can actually create inventory to keep on hand and have readily accessible/quick to ship items.  I'm thinking a dragonfly line... hummingbirds... and I already offer a somewhat exclusive ocean inspired line to two shops; one in Kennebunkport, Maine, and one in Florida...  I'll be writing more about that later!  :)

For now, I really wanted to share a poem with you that my husband wrote shortly after we met.  Grab your hanky or a box of tissues... I bawled my eyes out the first time I read it.  I still can't read it without shedding a tear. :)  Here is the link to the original on Facebook : Military - Twas The Night Before Christmas; by J.A. Barnes

================================================================

MILITARY - TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Twas’ the Night before Christmas, And out in the sand,
A soldier was on guard duty, weapon safely in hand.
The dune was completely still, not even the wind stirred.
His eyes scanned the horizon, a plan of action inferred.


His team was in slumber, dreaming of their loved ones miles away.
Seeing the faces of their children ,and the smiles they’d wear later that day.
The soldier remained on alert, as he continued to scan into the black.
Occasionaley sipping coffee, and pulling out his MRE for a snack.


When from out of the darkness there arose a loud sound,
The soldier snapped the safety off his weapon and prepared to throw down.
He sighted down the barrel, and steadied his hands.
Prepared to lay down his own life, prepared to make his last stand.


At first it was just sounds, those that sounded of bells.
But from which direction they were coming, the soldier could not yet tell.
When out from the clouds, the moon did appear.
Lighting up the sand as though daytime and revealing eight tinny reindeer.


With a white bearded driver, dressed head to toe in red.
The soldier still unsure, put the sights to his head.
As he hollered and laughed and called out each name,
The soldier wanted to believe his eyes, but held his target just the same.

“Now Dasher, now Dancer, Now Prancer, and Vixen.  On Comit, On Cupid, On Doner and Blitzen!
There are men and women about, who sacrifice themselves for the free!
We’re going to thank them all tonight, before any presents go under the trees!”

He reached behind him, and slowly pulled from his sack,
A large wooden pole, with a white flag on the back.
Standing from his sleigh, he began to wave his hands,
Signaling his good intentions, to alert the soldier man.


The soldier waved him forward while remaining at the ready,
He radioed to his command, his hands never unsteady.
As St. Nick approached, he did exactly as he was told.
Holding his hands within sight, he wasn’t there to be bold.


The soldier could hear the deer breathing, and see the smile on Santa’s face.
As the sleight came to a stop, and he stepped out with grace.
“Good evening my dear boy, and Merry Christmas to you all.
We have a special gift for you, soldiers one and all.



Backup arrived and Santa accepted his search without a sound,
He completely understood their caution, for many brothers and sisters had gone down.
As they completed their job, even checking the bag in the sleigh.
They gave the thumbs up, Santa was ok.


As he stepped back a bit, his hands began to shake and his knees became weak.
A tear dropped from his eye, as he slowly began to speak.
“My list of nice and naughty is very hard to compile.
But the men and women of the military are at the top by a mile.”


“You ask for nothing in return, but your life your ready to give.
You sacrifice your body, your hearts, so that others may live.
You may only require a thank you once in awhile but you see that just won’t do.
I’m here to bring the magic of Christmas to each and every one of you.”


He stepped to the sleigh and removed his toy sack.
It was a velvety red, with a gold stripe down the back.
And as he moved in close, his suit began to change color,
It became a combination off all the services BDU’s, a suit unlike any other.


“You may not have known this, but I’ve been in battle myself.
I wasn’t always Santa, and my workers not always Elf’s.”
As he spoke with a grin, and a twinkle in his eye,
He reached into his bag and let out a large sigh.


“I’m sorry to say I can’t end this war, and I can’t send you home.
It wouldn’t matter anyways, as you wouldn’t leave your unit alone.
So what I have here, is just a little treat of Christmas spirit,
Take a moment to relax, as you get to see and to hear it.”


With his final word, the bag began to glow.
It levitated above the ground, and began a picture show.
There were children with smiles, and families left back home,
Playful pets and Christmas trees, and even a saluting Gnome.


There was laughing and a few tears as moments were remembered.
And a few silent prayers for those lives who had been surrendered.
As Santa stood back and took in the sight,
He knew the country would always be ok as long as there were these brave men and women to fight.


As the show shed its final light, and everyone returned to order.
Santa began to shake hands, and to thank each soldier.
He made his way back to the sled, before resetting his sack and stepping in.
His shoulders slumped forward for a moment, as he ran his finger through the hair on his chin.


“As much as I’d like to stay, it is my duty to go.
So many stops to make tonight, at each station throughout the world.
But as you're celebrating here, with your family number two.
Don’t ever forget those people at home that love and appreciate you.”

“Back in the states, there are people you’ll never know.
Who love and appreciate, the continuous courage that you show.
The men and women of the services are the bravest in the world.
And make it safe for me to bring joy to every little boy and girl.”


As the sleigh began to move and started to lift to the air.
He dropped down a package to each soldier standing there.
It wasn’t a gift that could be heard or for that matter even seen.
It was instead the thanks and feeling, the knowledge of what they really mean.

With the sleigh going up and pulling out of sight,
Santa hollered back to them, “Merry Christmas and Thank you, because of you we sleep safe tonight.”

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to the men and women abroad who serve our country every day.  Your sacrifice and courage do not go unnoticed.  God bless the United States Army, Navy, Air Force, Maine Corps, and Coast Guard!!

================================================================

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuka, Happy Kwanza, Happy New Year, and any/every holiday I may be missing!  

Please feel free to share the blog post, share the poem.. it deserves to go viral!  Not just because he's my husband...but because it's an amazing, heartfelt poem that rings true to so many...

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When The Past Comes Back To Haunt You...

Ya know how life has a tendency to get in the way?  Well yea..  Life has kinda kept me on my toes the last few weeks so I apologize for my absence!  I was going to write about the damn government shut down...but I decided that would just be an angry rant and decided against it. :)

But this...I feel is important and might help those of you who actually read what I have to say.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other night...we were reminiscing about our antics while in Kuwait.  I asked him if he could believe it had been 4 years since that time...  He said, "No it hasn't been... it feels like it was yesterday..."  And that got me thinking...  He also asked why certain things smell a specific way causing him to remember the past...Did you know your olfactory senses have the strongest link to your memories?  That's why when you smell the perfume your grandma used to wear, you immediately think of her even though she may have been deceased for 10 years.

Me and one of our docs.

Especially for veterans who have seen war, flashbacks are a very real occurrence.  Not everyone will act out those flashbacks; many will look like they've "zoned out".  In reality, they are reliving that memory as if it were on a big movie screen.  As my friend and I were talking, I remembered a patient I treated.  He was clinically dead, but we were able to revive him despite his severe injuries.  I was holding c-spine (maintaining head control), looking him in the eye and making him talk to me to keep him conscious.  His eyebrows and eyelashes were burned off.  He had burns all over his body; the stench of burning skin and hair is a smell that I will never forget.  He had multiple broken bones and partial amputations.  His carotid artery started bleeding through the bandages and I had to use my thumb as a plug to stop the bleeding in his neck.  While all this was going on and he was being treated by 4 other medics; we talked about getting his 5 year old and my 7 year old together when we both got home and they could play football together.  I will never forget his face, his eyes staring up at me, pleading with me to reassure him that all will be will.  When he was MEDEVAC'ed from our facility, he was alive.  He made it all the way to Germany before succumbing to his injuries.  I was sent home not too long after due to my seizures and made it to his memorial.  It's something I will never forget.  And there are times where it seems like it was just yesterday...The day after my husband knew I was in a funk and I explained to him what was going through my head, and he did the perfect thing.  He just let me be.  Sometimes all a person suffering from PTSD who is dealing with the aftermath of a flashback or night terror needs, is to be left alone for the day...to have that time to sort it out in their own mind.  He was there for me when I needed a hug, when I needed to talk.. but he also gave me my space.  I spoke to my friend on Tuesday... and parts of our conversation brought up memories I had pushed aside..I am wondering if perhaps my inability to close them off again resulted in my seizure last night.  Stress and lack of sleep are triggers.  It was as I was falling asleep I guess.  My hubby told me about it.. which makes sense and explains the sore tired muscles I have today.

My service dog, Kane, also knew something was up.  He didn't leave my side all day long.  It's been 4 years since my deployment to Iraq, but there are times where it seems like it was yesterday.  I see all the people I treated in flashbacks before my eyes.  Sometimes in night terrors.. sometimes when I'm zoning out during the day/day dreaming.  Sometimes it's the same scene, other times it's like a movie on fast forward and I see everything.  Sometimes the tears start flowing and I don't know why...I can't stop them, they're just there.  Sometimes I'm cranky and I snap at my son and husband.  Sometimes I'm able to smile and be thankful that I made it home despite my health issues. And sometimes I feel guilty because I survived and some of my friends did not.. (it's called survivor's guilt).. 

I bring this up not because I want your pity...but I believe that people need to be aware that when it comes to PTSD, there's no timeline in when we get better.  Some days are better than others... And sometimes it's all you can do just to get out of bed.  A certain smell, word, or the way a specific landscape looks can remind us of the dust bowl we were in and the horrific things we saw.  When we withdraw or pull back, it's not because we don't love you, it's because we're trying to deal with the images and memories in our head.  If you've never been there, if you've never seen it...it's hard to talk to someone who doesn't understand.  Rather than just listening, most people try to understand and interrupt to ask questions.  While I admire their desire to learn in order to understand...when you're hurting, the last thing you want to do is educate.  If you want to learn more, ask during a GOOD day, or do some research online.  Want to help your friend but don't know how?  My husband wrote an AMAZING post about how to support a loved one with PTSD.  Please check it out.  Some items may work for your situation, some may not.  But it's some good information from an outsiders point of view.

Dealing with PTSD, Depression, and/or Suicide as a family member or friend

Iraqi sunset

I know this isn't my typical post... But this is about the day in my life.  And not all days are hunky dory peachy keen.  Some days suck.  This week has been full of those sucky days.  But that's why I have my pottery.  When my hands are in clay... a lot of this stuff seems to dissolve...and I feel better.  At times, it's better therapy than any shrink could ever do.  Not to diminish the importance of a psychologist in the healing process for veterans and/or those with PTSD... but for me...art therapy has done more for me than anything else.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help.  Don't know how to explain what is going through your mind/heart?  Grab a pen...a pencil..a paint brush.. some clay.  And just create.  It doesn't have to be the next Picasso.. it just has to help you through the hard days... And for me.. I can assure you that it does.

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Friday Fun - Where Has Time Gone??

It's Friday already?  REALLY?!?  Crazy....I guess having a seizure and being so exhausted afterwards that I sleep basically 2 days away has a way of messing with your week...  But at least the last 21 2days have been VERY productive and I've felt sooo much better!!  

I went to Lowe's with a girlfriend of mine and my punkerhead last weekend, and we found some pretty awesome shelves for a really good price.  I only needed one set....BUT...at that price... I couldn't pass it up... So.... I got 2 !  hehe  My honey put them together for me yesterday, and I spent a majority of yesterday organizing them and putting my "office" together.  My shipping "station", photography area, and an actual desk/table next to my shelves to call  my office.  I cannot believe how much more efficient I am and how much more work I get done now!  Well...yes I can.  But still.  It's AWESOME!  I have shelves set aside for boxes, bubble wrap, greenware projects that need to be out of the way while they slowly dry, bisque ware that needs to be glazed, and there's even a shelf for my honey... "BOXES READY TO SHIP"... HEHEHE  Since I can't drive, I rely on him to take everything to the post office.  And since we live in the middle of no where... our little post office closes at 12:30 (I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!?) and we don't have a mailbox, we have to have a damn PO box.  Granted, if push comes to shove, we can go to the post office in the next town over, but that's a 15 minute ride... the post office here close to us is a 2 minute ride.  Still frustrating!  I can't even schedule for the mail man to come pick up the packages... I don't think.. now that I'm "thinking out loud" about it... I'm going to have to call and look into that! :)

Anyway.... Hope you enjoy the photos of my "office" transformed (these are from yesterday... I'll get some new pictures with it all spiffied up soon!)  It's nice...because it leaves the sun porch... aka my studio... to be completely for CLAY.  :-D  Love it!!!  (Thought I'd also throw in a pic of my messy work table... hehe)

Friday Fun - ABC Get to Know ME!

So going along with the theme, I figured Friday would be a free for all.  Gives me leeway to write about my life, family, and miscellaneous items that might not otherwise fit.  Today's Friday Fun tidbit is an "ABC Get To Know Me Quiz" that I found on The Little Owl Shop Blog (THANKS! :) )  So here goes!  Hope you learn something about me and perhaps are inspired to do the same.

A. Age: 29

B. Bed Size:  Queen...and it's not big enough!  With myself, my fiance, my son, and my service dog Kane all trying to pile into one bed sometimes...it can get crowded!  haha

C. Chore that you hate:  scraping/grinding kiln shelves and putting kiln wash back on.  Time consuming and has to be done outside.  Non pottery related... I hate doing the dishes!  Always have... but now, standing that long to wash the dishes is physically painful... but on the good days I still try to help my honey out.  He takes such good care of me. <3

D. Dogs:   2; my service dog Kane, and my fiance's dog Charlotte.  Charlotte stayed down with his parents when we moved up north though.  She has a lot of health issues and needed to be closer to the vet...AND... his mom and gram just didn't want her to go.

E. Essential start to your day:  Coffee!

Kane and I at a restaurant in Virginia.

F. Favorite Color:  Blue and a dark amethyst purple.

G. Gold or Silver: Silver/white gold

H. Height:  5'7"

I. Instruments you play:  In middle school I played the french horn...and taught myself some basic piano back in HS...but that was 10 years ago..

J. Job Title: Retired Disabled Veteran.  AKA Differently-abled Veteran Ceramic Artist in Training.  Only been doing this 1.5 years, but it has fast become my passion.

K. Kids:  I have an 11 year old son from a previous marriage.  Hope to add to that sometime in the future.

Hummingbird perched on our patio chair. May 2013.

L. Live:  Northern Maine, about 10 miles from the border of Canada.

M. Mother's Name: Kathy.  

N. Nicknames: Na-Na.  One of my younger sisters couldn't say "Shawna" when she was younger...so she called me "na-na" and it stuck.  Everyone in my family (mom and sisters, dad not so much) calls me by it.  My fiance's pet/nickname for me is "love monkey".  There's a story behind that one as well... Maybe I'll get into that one in a later post.

O. Overnight hospital stays:  Several.  First one was when my son was born, another one about 8 years ago, and 2 in a 1 month time span while deployed to Iraq.  Again, maybe I'll elaborate more on those on a later date.

P. Pet peeve:  Ignorance.  Racism.  People being judgmental in general.  Live and let live.

Q. Quote from a movie:  "Hakuna Matata" = No worries!  Yes, from The Lion King. :)  But it's a great quote/phrase to live by.  Live life for today.  No sense stressing about yesterday or tomorrow.  Yesterday is in the past and you can't do sh*t about it, and you don't know what tomorrow will bring...so again, why stress about the unknown??

R. Right or left handed: Right handed!

S. Siblings: 5 by birth, 1 by marriage.  :)  I have 5 younger sisters ranging in age from 27 to 15.  And as of August 10, 2013, I will have an older sister. :)  Sister-in-law by technicality, but she's great and I love her just the same. :)

T. Time you wake up: It really depends on the kind of night I've had.  If it's been a bad night and I'm up with leg pain, it will be closer to noon.  Most of the time I go to bed when I'm tired and wake up on my own.  Recently though, I've been trying to get on a somewhat normal schedule so I can wake up with my son when he starts school in the fall.

U. Underwear:  The comfy kind! :) 

V. Vegetable you hate:  Not a big fan of kale...I like most veggies... thankfully I'm not a picky eater.

W. What makes you run late:  My memory.  Another "side effect" of Iraq.  My short term memory is HORRIBLE.  We have to stop half down the drive way after we leave to go someplace at LEAST once because I forgot something in the house that I need.  

X. X-Rays you've had:  Oh good lord... WAY too many!  Ankle, knee, foot, entire spine/neck... MRI's and CT scans of head and body...

Y. Yummy food that you make:  I can't cook anymore. :(  My left hand has weakness in it, and I have a tendency to forget stuff.  Add on top of that the inability to stand for long periods of time... And my culinary days are limited.  BUT on my good days... I make a mean stuffed porkchops that my fiance LOVES.

Z. Zoo Animal:  I love the beautiful colors on all the exotic fish... and the peacocks.  The peacocks remind me of the mythical phoenix...of which I have a large tattoo of on my arm.

Well there!  Those are some pretty random questions!  I hope you've learned something you didn't know about me and had a good chuckle...or at least smiled!

TTFN!

Working on some fine detail work.  :)

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Mudita Monday - 27 May 2013

Ya know...despite all my set backs the last few years and the people who have done wrong by me...I have many people to be happy for, to be "unselfishly joyful" for.  But today is not a day of joy.  It is a day of remembrance. Remembering all those who have fought before our generations (as well as those current) and paid the ultimate sacrifice.  To remember those veterans you may know in your community.  Some may be silent about their service, and other are vocal about their experiences.  It's time to remember that this freedom, that the government is trying to infringe upon, was not free.  People who believed in freedom for the people, free of government and religious directives and interference; fought for their rights to live in a nation they wanted to raise their children in. 

This is probably one of the more politically tinged posts I have and will ever post.  But this is important to me.  Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines all have continued to fight for that freedom since the day the Declaration of Independence was signed July 4, 1776.  Please remember to thank a veteran today.  If you see someone with a Korea hat on walking down the street, thank them for their service.  If you see an OIF veteran in a wheelchair, thank them for their service.  So I guess you could say, for today, my "mudita" or unselfish joy, is in the joy and happiness of other veterans, who are living life one day at a time, the best they can and the only way they know how. 

Thank you to those active duty as well as all the veterans in my friends and family circle!!!

Kathy Mayo
Joe Mayo
Tracy Anderson
Cory Smith
Chris Degen
Don Anderson
Bud Anderson
Archie Maze
Barney Degen, Sr.


Cory Charpentier
Amanda Broomfield
Jody Cope
Christina Dickson
Kandi Wilson
Kimberly March
Brandy Barraza
Nicole Phelan
Sheldon Yamasaki
DeShon Bell

ALL 3/3ID Dogface Soldiers!

And to anyone I may have missed, I am sorry!  You know my memory sucks!!  heh